#3

Sometimes I wish I could gather all the happy thoughts I've ever had, put them in a cookie jar and take just a whiff when things get too overwhelming.

#2

Hi. Things haven't been going too well and I like to tell myself that it's because growing up is difficult and that the transition from teen to ty is just designed to be the point where you realize how utterly unaware you are. But that would be a lie. I've seen people, my friends, who have handled the transition. People who have already embarked upon the journey to not-being-a-kid-anymore-sville and I'm still here, without a ticket. Or a clue.
The worst part of all of it is probably that, even though it definitely isn't so, it feels like you're the only idiot that's in this fix. Kids who seemed like they were going nowhere, kids with worse grades than yours and kids who hadn't decided or thought about these things either. You see a few Facebook posts or hear about them from a friend and realize that even they managed to walk in a certain direction. I could've done the same too. Just applied to a university for absolutely any course and hey, who knows, maybe I would've loved it there. The reason I didn't go for it was because I hadn't found my 'calling'. And as stupid as that sounds I'm still going for it. I'm currently striving for something that might cost me a year but ultimately seems like the right decision. Trust me when I say a gap year ISN'T as glamorous as they make it out to be in the movies. No travelling or exciting adventures. It's stressful, uncertain, frustrating and seeing all of your classmates be one step ahead of you really starts to take a toll on your nerves. So, for the love of all that is pure and holy on this God forsaken planet, get your shit together before you start wearing big boy pants. Okay, maybe you can take a few more years to figure things out but don't do what I did. Don't prolong something that needs to be done right at the time when you need to decide what subjects you want to opt for. Do a little boring research, take a few bogus online career quizzes, talk to people about it and most importantly, get off your overconfident, self-assured butt and work hard. Get to know your potential and start navigating through a wide, twisted maze that'll only get narrower and less complicated as you continue on over the years until finally you're exactly where you wanted to be. Or somewhere just as good.
See, the cool thing about having your shit together is that when high school is over you get to watch the chaos that unfolds when kids like me realize that there are no grades left to be promoted to. How do I know anything about having my shit together? I don't. But that's okay because I don't know a lot of things right now.

Like this awesome story about 'Tokyo, China' that I've reeeeally wanted to find out about for a while now........

#1

Introductions have never been my strong suit but I guess it's standard procedure so I'll just go along with it. I'll try to keep this rant free. I'm a 19 year old avid nail biter who isn't having the greatest luck these days. Mostly because of my above average aspirations and below average intelligence. Oops? As far as first impressions go I've honestly heard it all. Some have told me I come across as arrogant and others say I'm too hyperactive for anyone's liking. I guess it depends entirely on the environment you meet me in. Meet me during a bus ride, car ride or a journey in general and you'd probably never want to talk to me again. I don't know if it's just me or if it's just rude but there is nothing more annoying than trying to hold a conversation with someone with your earphones on. Okay, there are probably much more annoying things but I'm sure you'll probably hear me say 'there is nothing more annoying than' at least once in every post I make if I continue to do this. So, earphones. The fact that anyone would continue with their jibber jabber despite the fact that I did not remove my earphones to listen to them is beyond me. My ear sockets would've immediately been vacant if I planned on listening to you and hence engage in a stimulating conversation about that thing that I have absolutely no interest in. Most of the time I just nod and smile hoping that no questions have been asked and that it's just a never-ending monologue and surprisingly sometimes it really is. There's just something about looking outside during a car ride with a mood appropriate song playing on your earphones and directing a little music video for it in your head. I'm sure some people would much rather enjoy the company of other human beings during this period and jam out together to that same song on the stereo in the car but nope, the little recluse inside me refuses to indulge in such social behavior. Loud music actually manages to make my 'there is nothing more annoying than' list. I just don't see how assaulting your eardrums and uncontrollable flailing could manage to be a fun thing but I'll talk about that in excruciating detail some other day. Well, so much for this being an introduction as opposed to a rant. At least now you know what to expect from me. Welcome.

Mahrukh M.